I am feeling down and I can't really say quite why... It probably has something to do with having to ask my parents for a loan that I won't be able to repay until sometime next summer... I think it might have been possible to make it through the year with out borrowing money- if I simply stopped doing everything else and simply holed up here on campus. I would become rather depressed and go nearly crazy, but at least I would not be further in debt.
*sigh*
Money is evil...

It's the first of October... I don't know where the time has gotten to. It is already to the point in the year when I can look down the road and count off the weeks until the year is ended and name off the activities that are filling almost all of those weeks. I feel like my life is slipping through my fingers and I am not being able to do anything about it. So I am trying to do the most with it. That is in part why I asked for money - there is so much I want to be doing while I am still here. And doing requires funds, which at the moment, are sorely lacking... So am I being selfish or imprudent? I don't know... I don't think so - but I am getting the feeling that my parents think I am. (Though I generally get the feeling that my parents disapprove of my decisions... well perhaps "withhold judgment" is more accurate...)
*sigh*
perhaps those who say money is the root of all evil are right...